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For them, gay had two distinct meanings which they were able to distinguish between – when it refers to sexual identity and when it refers, separately, to something being “rubbish”.
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Given that labelling these students homophobic would be ridiculous, it was vital to consider how they were using this language and the reasons why.Īll of the men in my research insisted that they did not intend to be homophobic when they used the phrase. Yet several of them would also say “that’s so gay” when frustrated. These young men had openly gay friends, supported gay rights and condemned homophobia. My interest in the phrase “that’s so gay” developed when I researched straight male students at sixth form colleges. How are we to understand a phrase that older people find homophobic, but many younger people do not find offensive and even use themselves? We can only get to an answer by listening to the voices of young people and trying to understand their perspectives. He said: “I think it breaks down barriers between the straight and gay community… I use it a lot.” Similarly, Neil, gay and aged 18, said: “I don’t find it derogatory in any way, probably because I say it as well.”
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Yet the initial findings from my interviews with 40 gay youth from four universities suggests a more complex picture, with no clear agreement on what the phrase means or its effects.Ĭonsider Joe, a 19-year-old gay student at an elite university. Stonewall argues that the phrase has a harmful effect on young lesbian, gay and bisexual people’s education and well-being. Stonewall’s School Report argued this position, and it will be discussed in their upcoming Education Conference. I'm afraid a second may come as "standard" or worst, and I'll regret my decision hundreds of times.The phrase “that’s so gay” has traditionally been understood as homophobic. When people ask me why didn't I had a second child, I always say: "Look at my daughter. Since newborn she always slept at least 6hours straight, is rarely sick, eats everything we put on her front, likes fish and salad/vegetables, I can count with one hand her child tantrums and she made only 2 in public (now at 14y we have arguments often, but are usually negociated, some days she ends upset but accepts my demands, others I have to give up some minor rules and trust her jugdement), is a great student, well behaved, helps random people she sees in need, and receives appraisal from her teachers and people around. I love my daughter, she is, under a general view, a perfect child. I'm a lucky momma, but I completely understand people who don't want children, and that must be respected! I'm afraid a second may come as "standard" or worst, and I'll regret my decision hundreds of times."
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A friend of mine says: "Children are the best and the worst we have in our lives."